Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Finally I ran....

I went finally for a run last night.
Not long...5km only.
On the Corniche.
It was not as empty as I thought it would be.
People might actually be coming out of their zombie state.
But I could feel the difference as I ran….I was not the only one running…which was good…people are slowly getting back to normal…but it feels like the eye of the storm…a bit of quiet time before the real storm. As I approached the lighthouse I kept saying turn around here…turn around.... what if it is hit again? When we had heard that the lighthouse had been hit we had immediatly thought that the whole lighthouse had been blown a way we would have not been all that sad since the lighthouse is automated and architecturally it is an eyesore...Beiruties didn't like it ever since it was built (and we kept comparing it to the beautiful elegant striped one that was blocked by a new building infront of it...go figure)....the new 'grey-scale' lighthouse, as it was lovingly called by us, still stands...the Israelis couldn't even do us a favour in that issue!

Anyway to continue...
I refused to listen to the paranoia inside my head and I carried on towards the Hamma el Askarii….all the while thinking…what a way to die if they decide to bomb now? I could just see it on CNN and BBC....'a jogger was killed last night whilst she was...ummm....jogging....she didn't hear the people telling her that the F16s were bombing because her walkman was playing Jeremy Fisher quite least she died fit albite deaf!…Ok ...Ok...but believe me it is not the normal thing I think about while I run!

I tried looking for the tell tale lights of the Israeli destroyers….but I couldn’t see anything…what do these soldiers think of as they bomb us?

It was a beautiful Mediterranean evening....waves lapped on the rocks…there was a slight breeze…and a quiet that was too quiet at times...I hated that I found a parking spot immediatley…..I saw all the normal Corniche sights….the boy and girl holding hands stealing kisses, the gang of guys smoking Aargileh pipes, the family with their children playing happily probably enjoying the freedom of being outside, the old men fishing, the corn on the cob vendors,the man walking with his very pregnant wife, the coffee sellers, the 'bizer' seeds on the ground….it all felt a little surreal….like it was real but wasn’t…it is like people want to get back to normal but there is a transparent layer that is not allowing them to as the war continues…

So I ran,and ran. As always, I wondered which house Robert Fisk lived in...I had read he lived on the Corniche somewhere...and everytime I ran there I wondered...I guess some things never change...that is comforting.

Now is the difficult time…the waiting game…to see what happens next…it is psychological now...from both sides….which population will crack first? Who will concede to the pressure first? Who will erupt first? We do not have a very good track record…..

Do you know how when two people are fighting and they are both stubborn and neither wants to give an inch…or reach a compromise when each has to sacrifice a little of what they want?…I feel this is us…with the Lebanese in the middle…unable to move….stuck…damned if we say this and damned if we do not….we are stuck in a continuous cycle.. what were they called in school? There was an actual name for it….

I have just learnt that the Israelis have called this current war in Lebanon 'Change of Direction'. Can you imagine? Is there an actual person whose job it is to come up with these things?… 'Grapes of Wrath,1996'….'Operation Accountability, 1993'…How poetic….I wonder what they base it on…current books being read? Irony? An inside joke? Is it voted on by majority or does the 'Major' have the final say? Do they think of it before the fighting begins or as the fighting is going on? I wonder…

And just for your info…the current Gaza assault is called 'Summer Rains'…

'Change of Direction'.
It is a little off putting that they actually name these things.


Blogger Maher said...

I think the term you're trying to remember is "vicious circle". Usually it's used in economics but it's definitely appropriate here...

12:18 PM  
Blogger shaggy said...

Rena... the sad truth is ... it's not about u, me, the lighthouse, the women or children... it's about what the big guys want from us, our coutries, and the world. And your blogs just bring things back down to earth... thanks. Don't give up!
It feels like I'm running on the corniche along with you :)

2:02 AM  
Blogger Manuel Semaan said...

I dreamt so much while looking at the striped manara... I hated so much the building behind... It was so sad to see the new manara... And they only turned the light off.

8:46 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home